NEW YEAR'S EVE

I'm feeling a bit under the weather on this New Year's Eve. We didn't even eat our traditional dinner of fajitas. I wanted to tackle the garage today since it was relatively warm, but it rained ALL DAY and the Ninja Baby (outside cat) stayed in there to keep dry. Oh well.
Tomorrow I will feel better, since I'm in bed extra early. My cat is here with me and it's not terribly cold. A little garlic, sandalwood oil, and colloidal silver will fix me. Ahhh....cozy.

WICKED WEATHER

I'm not feeling well today. The sudden switch in weather from warm and balmy to cold and windy has sort of made my throat and sinuses go haywire. I'm still working to finish Yule presents for the grandkids in time to send them New Year's eve. After the New Year festivities, this house is going to get decluttered and cleaned from top to bottom!

ANYBODY OUT THERE?

I'm less than halfway through this one year journey I started 151 days ago and already I am tempted to quit. While I realize there have been many days when I wrote something less than profound, I HAVE written quite a few posts worth reading. In spite of that, I haven't had a comment or picked up a follower since 2010. That's actually one of the main reasons there have been as many days of skimpy writing as there have been. While I wasn't aiming for international renown, I WAS hoping a few people here and there would find some comfort or inspiration in my journey. I began this whole thing with the idea that SOMEONE would derive benefit from the more substantial writings. Now, I wonder if I should have just kept a personal journal instead. I wonder.....

COLD

It was too cold for me to do much of anything today. I guess I need the extra rest in order to keep from getting sick. At least it's not super windy tonight like it was all night last night. Man, it was cold! I set the thermostat on 67F, but this morning it was 61F in the house and the heater had been running non-stop. I went and bought 2 electric oil radiators, but one of them was smashed in the box. Sigh. I have to return it tomorrow. May as well do grocery shopping while I'm out.
Stay warm, everyone.

SLUG-A-DAY

I went to my mother's for the evening. It was less stressful than I anticipated. It was a long drive though and I'm beyond exhausted. Now it's time to take a "slug-a-day", a day for doing NOTHING! Tomorrow (today actually, since it's after midnight) is Christmas. Everything will be closed anyway. I might as well get some rest.

YULE CELEBRATION

The Yule dinner went reasonably well. However, I was so stressed out about the decorating that the food wasn't up to par. I took on too much as far as the decor, so that I ran out of time to finish all that I had planned. I think I appeared uptight and stiff the whole time. While the room did look pretty, I felt too stressed to enjoy any of it properly. It just goes to show what happens when one is trying to hard at making things spectacular. I got that from my mother, who always went all out to make her home look festive and fabulous for parties. As I recall, she was pretty stressed about that sort of thing as well. Next year, I intend not to fuss so much over the decor. Sheesh.

BUSY DAY

Today, I was very busy with shopping, baking, decorating, and cleaning. Tomorrow will be more of the same. Then, my family is coming for Yule dinner. I'm looking forward to cooking our traditional Indian dinner with a beautiful Yule log cake. The decorations are going to be amazing. We will exchange gifts, eat good food, and listen to beautiful music. Each of us will light a gold candle with a wish for someone else. Tomorrow night, I will write about all of it.

PREPARING FOR YULE

I have finally finished the Yule gifts for people I will see in a few days. I didn't shop today, because it was very windy and cold out. Since I've had a sore ear for several days, I thought getting out in a cold wind wasn't a great idea.
Tomorrow, I HAVE to go shopping, do food prep, cleaning, and decorating for the Yule dinner. I hope it turns out to be a good evening for everyone.

DAY OFF

I took the day off from making Yule gifts to go to a movie and dinner, followed by a stroll in a pretty place. The stroll was my favorite part, by far. The huge trees along the river were strung with hundreds of colorful lights. It was festive and peaceful at the same time. Some of the trees were over 40 feet tall. I wondered how they got the lights up in them. It was breathtaking. I wish I could have stayed there longer. I'm back home now and I'm pretty beat. Time for rest. Grocery shopping and laundry tomorrow, along with finishing my Yule projects.

NINJA BABY

I guess it's time to write about the despair now. Many days ago, the little stray cat we have been feeding for 3 years suddenly stopped eating. Three whole days went by and he had not eaten. He was beginning to stagger when he walked. At one point, when he fell asleep at the edge of a flower bed, he ended up falling upside down into the bed, without bothering to right himself. He seemed to be asking us for help, but since he had never allowed us close enough to pet him, we didn't know how we would get him to the vet.
It was a weekend, so a nearby emergency pet hospital was our only choice. They advised us to "throw a blanket over him" and grab him up in it. Right. Still, faced with the possibility of losing him to liver failure, we began to hatch a plan. After rehearsing dozens of dubious scenarios, we grabbed a heavy, old quilt and tried to casually get close to him, inches at a time. No dice. He became more and more wary and kept moving away. Finally, out of the blue, he decided to actually eat a little bit. Just a tablespoon of salmon and a few kibbles. He ate three other small meals that day, and over the next few days, he gradually became his "old" self again. I think something frightened him to an extent that he could neither eat nor empty his bowels. Pretty scary for such a little guy. I'm so very glad he's OK. After the quilt fiasco, however, he became a bit more wary of us. I think he will get over it. I'm just happy he is here.

JOY

Several days ago, I mentioned joy and despair, neither of which I felt ready to discuss. Right now, I'm ready to talk about some of the joy. I have experienced rather more of that lately than I have in a LONG time. What is the joy about? It's about looking at my ordination credentials and realizing I am in the process of crossing a threshold into a new and exciting time in my life. It's about having the time to do things I love to do. It's about NOT feeling physically horrible for the first time in many years. For decades, I usually felt so bad, it was hard to even be civil, much less pleasant. That's the bottom line right there. The lousy, all over my body, head to foot AWFUL feeling has improved so much since I began taking thyroid meds. And that makes everything better. After feeling rotten for so long, it just feels wonderful to feel somewhat normal. That gives me hope and a fresh, new outlook.

ORDINARY DAY

Today was another busy and somewhat stressful day. My back pain is still pretty bad, so I'm not up for typing much. I guess this month is turning out to be busier and more hectic than I thought it would. Still, overall, I'm feeling better than I did a few months ago. Right now, I'm going to allow a lovely DVD of holiday music and beautiful scenery to lull me off to sleep. Tomorrow is grocery day.

BAKE-A-THON

The bake-a-thon went well and it was a lot of fun hanging out with my daughter. It always starts off being festive and exciting, but by the time we have made 100 cookies or so, we are both beat and dragging. I went to bed hurting all over again. It WAS fun though!

LONG DAY TOMORROW

I've been on my feet all day and my back kills. I'm going to bed now. I have a VERY LONG day tomorrow. My daughter and I will be having our annual bake-a-thon and listening to Latin music. Wheeeee!

BUSY DAYS

Tomorrow is my doctor's appointment and the day I have to buy loads of baking ingredients for our annual family "bake-a-thon". Very busy days ahead. I'm still not ready to talk about the challenges of the past several days.

PRECARIOUS

I had about 3 joyful days in a row, which is a very good thing. Since last night, however, some sudden changes have taken place which have made me cave in to worry and despair. At this moment, I can discuss neither the joy nor the despair, lest the precarious scales of my emotions tip too far in the wrong direction.

BETTER

Today was even busier than yesterday.  My energy level is better these days, as is my mood. The thyroid meds really seem to be helping. I have millions of thoughts swirling around my head these days. Being busy with things I enjoy is very good for me. I have some things to share, but I need to rest for now.

YULE MAGIC

It was another very busy day. The repair guy came to fix my lights a day early! I'm so grateful to have light in my room just in time for me to get to work on Yule gifts. Wow, I'm tired. But the living room looks magical. I plan on making even MORE magical before Yule gets here.

DECKING THE HALLS

I spent nearly the whole day decorating for Yule. Here I was, listening to all these songs about snow and blazing fireplaces and sleigh rides, while wearing shorts and sandals. It got up into the 80s today. Some winter weather, eh? After a day of going at this, I still have halfway to go to be finished decking the halls. Tomorrow, I have some cleaning to do too, because a man is coming over the next day to fix the non-working lights in my room. I haven't had properly working lights for about 2 weeks. I surely do miss it!

SOUL WORK

Lately, I have been concentrating more and more on putting some order to the cluttered aspects of my life in the hope of creating space for me to live my dreams. At this point, I only have a few that truly matter to me. One of them is to be around to see my daughter raise her children, to be an important part of her life....and theirs. I would like to be healthy and fit enough to play an active role in their lives, attend their weddings, and see their kids. Another dream is to do something fulfilling and meaningful as minister. Hopefully many things. My other dream involves the completion of a musical project that has already been years in the making. It has grown considerably since its inception so long ago. Those are my biggest, most important dreams. Dreams that I believe are completely attainable if I get myself into better shape, physically and emotionally. I'm working on it.

This month will be a busy one. I have so much to do to get ready for Yule and the holidays that follow. There won't be as much time for organizing and soul work. But, perhaps in making gifts for people I love, I will be doing some inner work, particularly of the healing sort. I will be sure to write about any personal discoveries, insights, or breakthroughs that I experience along the way.